While news media highlights that the world is a disaster, in social media people continue to have an awesome time. How to balance the two conflicting views.
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Tuning into news related media these days can be depressing. You can take your pick of concerns: war, inflation, technology growing without limits, polarized politics, prejudice, poverty, exploitation, climate change etc. Any one of these is enough to cast a shadow over your outlook on life.
On the other hand, if you take a look at social media, it seems that many people are still having the time of their lives. As you watch others showcasing their latest looks and enjoying awesome travel, food and social lives, you may experience simple envy (FOMO) or perhaps a deep sense of confusion.
This confusion stems from two conflicting perspectives on the world. Should you (i) sink into a deep depression about how AI will soon be doing your job better and cheaper than you, while the ocean rises to swallow your home, or (ii) just remember that everything is awesome!
Let’s take a look at each view in turn.
Social Media:
News Media:
The Super Positive View – Everything is Awesome!
“Everything is awesome when you’re living out a dream.”
The Lego Movie
As much of the content on social media (along with the entertainment and advertising industry) would have you believe, life is about being awesome. Awesome vacations, awesome food, awesome outfits, awesome social life, everything is awesome. Drink overpriced coffee at $37? Awesome!
Lacking some form of awesome? No worries – much of it can be purchased. Upgrade your look, social skills, work skills, spiritual experiences, romantic relationships etc. with more awesomeness. Also at your service are any number of celebrities, influencers and role models ready to inspire you to become as awesome as they are.
Everything is available for sale towards a More Awesome You.
Don’t get me wrong. I like awesome as much as the next person. The danger is when we slip into the shadowy abyss of thinking that life should and must be awesome. Then we start to feel bad about ourselves when it isn’t. As well as resentful towards others who seem to be higher on the awesomeness scale. Why am I not as awesome as everyone else?
The thing about a focus on awesomeness is that it encourages us to selectively showcase only the “awesome” parts of our life. Those parts where we’re looking amazing, being super witty and having an awesome time. Our idealized self living an idealized lifestyle.
“May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook / [insert your favorite social media].”
It is understandable that we wish to only highlight and publicize the awesome parts of our lives. When it comes to social media, for example, those posts of you looking fab in fabulous places are what people want to see right? They generate Likes, which you like.
A post of you in pajamas in front of the television feeling depressed about your life? Much less likes. Possibly some unfollow requests as well. Less awesome.
Less popular social media updates:
Through digital media we are now able to connect with people and share our lives in a way that was previously not possible. However, despite our hyper-connectivity, there is an increasingly widespread sense of loneliness and isolation. This is made worse when we compare ourselves to what is being published by others.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Theodore Roosevelt
In a world that encourages sharing our “Perfectly Instagrammable Moments” and “Super Hilarious TikTok Reels”, it is important to remember that real life is vastly different from your social media feed. In real life everything is not always awesome.
Being our authentic selves means not hiding or feeling ashamed about the so called “bad” parts of ourselves and our lives. If we hide these parts to appear more awesome, we create a false image of ourselves. We then look around and see the projected false images of awesomeness from others, while they also hide their own “bad” parts. We feel isolated and alone because we have lost authentic connection with ourselves, as well as with others.
We do not need to publish, play-up or act out our “bad” parts. However, accepting our non-perfection allows us to feel more whole and authentic. We can then become more accepting of the non-perfection of the world, as well as the false images projected by others, because we are grounded in our own completeness.
The All Out Negative View – The World Is A Disaster
“Everything’s not awesome
The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part
Everything’s not cool
I am so depressed”
On the other end of the scale, it can be easy to get caught in the feeling that the world is anything but awesome. The media not devoted to awesomeness is full of content which reflects the dark side of humanity and the misery of human living. On top of this, through digital means it is much easier to spread hatred, polarization, and us vs them mentality.
The challenge here is to build the capacity to keep our hearts open to the beauty, potential and goodness of life, despite the ugliness, difficulty and distortions. It requires having compassion and empathy for ourselves and others in our struggles, without feeling that life is against us.
We should be aware of getting caught in the trap of three reactive, fixed mindsets* of:
- (i) feeling hopeless and terrorized by life, or
- (ii) blaming life for not being how we wish it was, or
- (iii) feeling we must fix / rescue the world.
*Also known as the drama triangle, with the roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer.
These fixed reactive mindsets wage an endless war against reality. Instead, the healthy attitude towards life requires an acceptance of what is. This gives us a solid grounding from which to take a creative approach to building the life we want.
“May I be granted the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Serenity Prayer
It is worth remember that just as you do not generate social media likes with publications of your saggy trackpant with bad hair days, you don’t sell news by reporting on the boring. News is biased towards headline grabbers, which are often negative.
News that doesn’t sell:
Finding The Middle Ground – The Awesome And The Terrible
“Everything’s not awesome
The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part
But that doesn’t mean that it’s hopeless and bleak..”
The reality is that we live in a world that has both the awesome and the terrible, as well as all things in between. Earth is a challenging mix of heaven and hell. To live in harmony with reality is to move from seeing only black and white (the world is either all good or all bad) to allowing all the colors, including the many shades of grey.
If we can open ourselves to the full spectrum of experience, we stop participating in a dualistic stance that leads to divisiveness and polarization. Trying to fight negativity (by blaming, feeling victimized or needing to compulsively fix it) only adds to it. Pretending negativity does not exist and that everything is awesome only creates a false life and cuts us off from parts of ourselves.
Accepting that a spectrum of darkness and light exist, we can take personal responsibility for how we are showing up in the world. We can look at how what affects us negatively in the outside world is reflected in our own personal life and make steps towards changing what we can. We can do the work to uncover our internal resources and wisdom. And in doing so, we contribute our unique color and light to a world that at times finds itself shrouded in shadows.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
🩷🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩶❤️
Sobre La Vida 